Caring for a parent or loved one with Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia is a journey filled with patience and love, but also moments of uncertainty. If your loved one is currently in assisted living, you may reach a point of wondering, “Is this enough support? How do I know when memory care is needed?”
Assisted living might be a great fit for your loved one currently, providing support for activities of daily living (ADLs) while preserving their independence. But dementia is a progressive condition, and assisted living may not always be enough to keep them safe, healthy, and comfortable.
Before making the decision to move your loved one from assisted living to memory care, it’s important to understand the signs to look for and ways to navigate the transition.
How Does Memory Care Differ from Assisted Living?
Each level of living in a community delivers distinct advantages, so it’s important to talk with your loved one to ensure you both understand how memory care differs from assisted living. Your senior living care team can also be an excellent resource as you and your loved one evaluate options. Here are some key differences between memory care and assisted living:
Level of Care
Assisted living provides routine support for older adults who remain relatively independent. For example, team members may help residents with activities of daily living, such as dressing or bathing, if they struggle to manage these tasks on their own. Autonomy remains a priority in memory care, but this level of living provides more extensive support, specialized therapies, and around-the-clock supervision to promote health and safety.
Specialized Support
Assisted living residents can participate in a variety of events and programming at their senior living community. Individuals in memory support may take part in general programming as well as in therapies and programming designed specifically to support their physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Safety Measures
Assisted living residents enjoy a high level of independence. This independence can be unsafe, however, for a person with dementia. Memory support includes additional safeguards, such as specialized accommodations and constant supervision, to promote health and safety for those prone to challenges like confusion and disorientation.WesleyLife prioritizes making our memory support neighborhoods feel as homelike as possible while ensuring the safety and security of residents.
Determining When to Move from Assisted Living to Memory Care
Memory care provides an environment designed to address the unique needs of people living with cognitive decline. Not every moment of forgetfulness means it’s the right time for memory care, but when certain changes become consistent and begin to affect your loved one’s safety or daily life, it’s worth paying closer attention.
1. Increased Confusion
If your loved one struggles to recognize familiar faces, places, and objects on a regular basis, it may indicate a need for specialized support. This level of confusion can leave your loved one feeling anxious, withdrawn, or unsafe. They may:
- Ask the same questions repeatedly.
- Frequently misplace objects.
- Forget names or words during conversations.
- Struggle to follow multi-step instructions.
Urgency level: Moderate to high. Although not always an immediate emergency, consistent confusion signals that your loved one’s needs are progressing beyond the resources assisted living typically provides.
What you can do: Keep a simple journal of these moments and what triggers them so you can share notes with a doctor or care team. Pay particular attention to your loved one’s cognitive function at various times of day; increased agitation and confusion in the evening and at night (i.e., sundowning) is common.
2. Decline in Daily Living Abilities
Although assisted living can help with activities of daily living, if your loved one is consistently struggling to manage tasks such as dressing, eating, or maintaining personal hygiene, it may be a sign that more extensive assistance is needed. Other symptoms can include:
- Forgetting to pay monthly bills.
- Neglecting appointments and calendar obligations.
- Struggling with familiar tasks such as making dinner.
Urgency level: Moderate. This decline may develop gradually, but it often marks the beginning of a phase when your loved one needs more support.
What you can do: Ask the assisted living team for a care plan review to see if a change may be beneficial. These everyday needs are essential to maintaining long-term health, and if they aren’t being met, this may be a turning point when memory care becomes the safer option. Memory support team members also can carefully oversee your loved one’s medication regimen to ensure they take the right medicines at the right times.
3. Disorientation and Elopement
Confusion can cause a person with dementia to experience disorientation that leads to:
- Leaving their home or the senior living campus without a clear sense of direction.
- Forgetting how to return home or to another safe place, such as a neighbor, friend, or family member’s residence.
- Feeling restless and pacing at various times of day.
Urgency level: High and immediate. If your loved one is regularly getting lost or disoriented, their safety is a pressing concern that cannot wait. Even within assisted living, this poses very real dangers.
What you can do: Make sure your loved one wears some kind of ID or medical bracelet, so if they become lost and can’t communicate clearly, others know how to help. Technology such as GPS-enabled bracelets may also provide some peace of mind. However, this is a primary sign your loved one needs memory care, where the environment decreases the risk that they become lost.
4. Aggression or Agitation
Outbursts toward you, team members, or other residents may be a sign that your loved one needs more specialized support. These outbursts often take the form of:
- Verbal aggression, including shouting or insults.
- Physical aggression, such as hitting, biting, kicking, and throwing objects.
- Excessive movement, including pacing, restlessness, or constant fidgeting.
- Increased emotional distress, such as heightened irritability and mood shifts.
- Refusal of care.
Urgency level: High. Although these outbursts stem from fear or frustration instead of malice, they can put your loved one and others at risk of harm.
What you can do: In the moment, try to notice patterns. Do these outbursts happen at certain times of day or after certain activities? Limit distractions and shift their focus to another activity, preferably one that is relaxing. Also, share these observations with the assisted living care team.
Memory care team members understand this symptom of dementia and can skillfully de-escalate tense situations, offering clarity and comfort to your loved one. The cultivated environment in memory care also can contribute to a feeling of calm.
5. Withdrawal and Isolation
If your loved one avoids activities they once enjoyed, stops socializing with peers, or spends increasing time alone, their dementia may be affecting their quality of life.
Urgency: Moderate. Withdrawal and isolation are often signs that your loved one’s current environment doesn’t feel manageable, which can lead to depression and anxiety while worsening their cognitive decline.
What you can do: Talk with community team members about engagement opportunities in assisted living and explore whether memory support and the specialized social activities it offers might help your loved one reconnect.
6. Declining Physical Health
Keep an eye on your loved one’s physical health. As dementia progresses, they may experience difficulty maintaining regular care routines, leading to:
- Weight loss from skipped meals.
- Dehydration.
- Increased falls.
- Worsening chronic conditions.
Urgency: High. Physical health and cognitive health are deeply connected, and declines in both may signal a need for more structured care.
What you can do: Schedule a health assessment with your loved one’s medical care provider, touch base with the assisted living care team about their daily habits, and ask whether memory care could provide safer day-to-day oversight to help them stay healthy.
7. Care Team Concern
If you’re feeling uncertain about whether it’s the right time for memory care, remember that you don’t need to make this decision on your own. Often, your loved one’s care team — including health care providers and assisted living team members — will be the first to raise concerns and express that the time may be right to move from assisted living to memory support.
Urgency level: Moderate to high. The care team spends time with your loved one every day and will notice changes in behavior that you may not see during regular visits. Take their recommendations seriously.
What you can do: Think of this as a partnership. Families bring love and insight, community team members bring training and consistency, and health care providers bring medical expertise. Discuss your concerns with your loved one and decide together whether memory care is the next best step.
Navigating the Transition Process
If you and your loved one’s care team agree that a move to memory support would be beneficial, it’s time to focus on transitioning successfully. Consider these tips to support your loved one as they make the move:
Coordinate with your loved one’s care team.
Your loved one’s care team can be a valuable resource in making the transition to memory support as smooth as possible. Talk with team members to understand exactly what to expect from the memory care environment and how to best support your loved one. Moving from assisted living to memory care should feel like a smooth and beneficial adjustment — not a total upheaval.
Prioritize your loved one’s agency.
Negative misconceptions around dementia may lead you to view your loved one as merely a recipient of memory care, but even at this level of care, we believe in the importance of person-directed living. Be sure the memory support team involves your loved one as much as possible in their own care and values engagement from you and other loved ones.
Communicate openly with your loved one.
Maintain an open dialogue with your loved one about the transition. You may need to reiterate these expectations, such as daily routines, available amenities, etc., and reassure them whenever they express anxiety or concern. You can also involve other family members to ensure everyone is on the same page and can lend additional support to your loved one. Experts in the community can also alleviate your loved one’s concerns and ensure they understand the community’s role in supporting their well-being.
Look for ways to maintain consistency.
Fortunately, many communities offer a continuum of care that includes both assisted living and memory support, allowing your loved one to remain on the same campus where they feel comfortable and at home. You can look for other ways to ease the transition through consistency, especially in the early stages. For example, if you typically visit on certain days of the week, try to maintain that schedule.
Offer continued support.
Even well after your loved one moves to memory care, your continued love and support remain vital. Stay in close communication with your loved one’s care team to collaborate on their care plan and stay apprised of their well-being and needs.
Support Your Loved One’s Needs in a Place They’re Proud to Call Home
Making the decision to move from assisted living to memory care is never simple, but it comes from a place of love. You want your loved one to be safe and supported in an environment that meets their needs. By watching for signs, leaning on care team members, and trusting your instincts, you and your loved one can effectively determine when it is best to move to memory care.
If you would like to learn more about the holistic support memory care offers, download The Complete Guide to Memory Care for more answers, clarity, and confidence on the road ahead.
