Any good mom likes knowing her kids are home by curfew. For 105-year-old Arline S., that's gotten a little easier lately. Her son, Gary, 85, is back under the same roof.
In this case, though, that roof belongs to a WesleyLife community for healthy living, where Gary and his wife, Carolyn, recently joined Arline as residents.
“I think it’s great, having them here,” Arline says. “It brings the family together.”
Arline and her husband, Warren, moved to Edgewater, WesleyLife’s campus in West Des Moines, about a decade ago; Warren died in 2021, and Arline remains in the comfortable apartment they shared.
A few months ago, Gary and Carolyn decided it was time to downsize and relocate. They were familiar with Edgewater from visiting Gary’s parents there, and they liked and appreciated the community’s residents and services.
“The decision wasn’t hard; we just kind of slid into it,” Carolyn says. “We knew it was the right time and the right thing to do.”
Finding a routine
Arline, Gary, and Carolyn all describe themselves as independent people, so they’re not checking in with one another constantly. Arline has a group of friends she has cultivated over several years; Gary and Carolyn, having moved in just recently, are meeting fellow residents and establishing a routine. But they know they’ll see each other daily.
“We’ll run into Mom when we go to dinner; she eats a little earlier, so she and her friends are usually just finishing, but it’s nice to be able to say hello and see that she’s having a good day,” Gary says. “It’s also nice to know we’re close by if she needs something.”
Gary and Carolyn had lived in the Des Moines area for quite some time before moving to Edgewater, so they were able to visit Arline frequently. But Gary says living in such proximity to his mom for the first time in decades has caused him to look at her through new eyes and appreciate her ability to live independently.
“There’s not much she can’t do at 105, and that’s pretty amazing,” Gary says, adding, “She makes a pumpkin pie every year for Thanksgiving. Maybe two. We count on that!”
Arline says she’ll indeed make her pies this year, and adds that the way she makes those pies just might be related to her long and healthy life; she cuts the sugar by half and insists that no one is the wiser.
“During the war, we had to ration some things, like sugar, and after the war was over, I guess I just kept making things the same way,” she says. “I guess we were eating healthier before anyone told us to! Maybe it’s helped a little. And the pie still tastes good!”
Happy memories, long lives
In addition to cutting sugar, Arline says she attributes her and her husband’s longevity — he was 100 when he died — to decades spent farming. She worked in the fields alongside Warren in addition to taking care of the house and being a mother to Gary and his sister, Jan. Later, she and Warren became avid travelers, venturing to destinations as varied as Nova Scotia and Australia. 
She loved them all, she says, and especially loved experiencing them with Warren.
But as Arline grows older, she says she especially recalls how much she loved the simplicity of those early years — the ones spent as the mom of a young family.
“When I would prepare the fields for planting, I would sing songs and look for jackrabbits and birds; I’ve always been a bird watcher,” Arline says. “I would sing songs; I never had a good voice, but that didn’t stop me! And I loved the sunsets.
“Maybe when you’re on the farm and don’t have other people close by, you turn to nature for your entertainment.”
Gary looks admiringly at his mom as he tells a visitor what he remembers about those years.
“She’s not a big woman, and she was out there in the fields with the heavy equipment,” he says of his mom. “She and my dad were a good team.”
Closeness and appreciation
Arline says she doesn’t think much about her age, although others remark on it frequently; she simply tries to always think positively, to keep moving ("I always try to do at least what I did yesterday"), and to appreciate her family — so close by now, perhaps allowing the memories to come a little more easily.
“I remember when you would be outside at night with your telescope,” Arline tells her son.
“At night, we would lie down on the grass and find the Milky Way,” Gary responds.
It's a memory from a lifetime ago, but one they still share. And now, after so many years of living apart, mother and son can enjoy being close enough for more reminiscing ... and for making new memories as well.
